June Parker worked for Horizon Fidelity Financial's Debt Resolution Division.
Officially.
Unofficially, she worked in the "You Are Going To Yonkers" department.
The company handbook disagreed.
According to the handbook, she was a:
Official TitleSenior Opportunity Alignment Specialist
Which sounded much nicer than:
Actual JobWoman Who Calls To Explain Your Life Is About To Change Dramatically
The office walls were decorated with motivational posters.
One read:
Corporate WisdomWE DON'T CLOSE DOORS.
We identify alternative corridors.
Underneath, someone had written in marker: The corridor leads to a mine.
June took a sip of coffee.
The computer automatically dialed.
June: Good morning, Mr. Henderson. This is June Parker from Horizon Fidelity Financial.
Henderson: Ah hell.
June: You recognized the number?
Henderson: Nobody calls me anymore except my doctor and creditors.
June: Understandable.
Henderson: So how bad is it?
June checked the file.
June: On a scale of one to ten?
Henderson: Sure.
June: Yonkers.
Long silence.
Henderson: That's not a number.
June: It's where the number leads.
Henderson: Ah hell.
June: Good morning, Ms. Rodriguez—
Rodriguez: Is this a sales call?
June: No.
Rodriguez: Thank God.
June: It's debt restructuring.
Rodriguez: ...oh.
June: Yeah.
Rodriguez: Wait. That's worse.
June: Usually, yes.
June: Mr. Thompson, given your current debt load, we have identified an exciting off-world opportunity—
Thompson: Stop.
June: Pardon?
Thompson: I know where this is going.
June: You do?
Thompson: My cousin went.
June: Ah.
Thompson: Purple sky?
June: Yes.
Thompson: Mining?
June: Yes.
Thompson: Weird corporate slogans?
June: Very much yes.
Thompson: When do I leave?
June: Thursday.
Thompson: That's efficient.
June: We pride ourselves on responsiveness.
June: Good morning, Mr. Patel—
Patel: Are you selling insurance?
June: No.
Patel: Extended warranty?
June: No.
Patel: Investment products?
June: No.
Patel: Then why are you calling?
June checked the balance.
June: Sir, you currently owe 1.8 million credits.
Silence.
Patel: I owe what?
June: 1.8 million.
Patel: That's impossible.
June: According to the file, you financed a restaurant.
Patel: Yes.
June: Then financed a second restaurant to help the first restaurant.
Patel: Yes.
June: Then financed a third restaurant to support the first two.
Patel: It was a strategy.
June: Sir, the internal notes describe it as "restaurants all the way down."
Silence.
Patel: So this isn't a sales call?
June: Not remotely.
June rubbed her temples.
Her screen flashed.
Achievement UnlockedYou have successfully aligned 4 opportunities today!
Below it: People are our greatest resource.
Someone in IT had added a second line: Especially on resource extraction worlds.
The break room contained a vending machine, six exhausted employees, and a poster that read:
Self-Care PolicyTAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF
Maximum break duration: 10 minutes.
June sat down with her sandwich.
Across from her sat Darren from Asset Recovery.
Darren: How's your day?
June: Three Yonkers.
Darren: Oof.
June: You?
Darren: Four repossessions and a guy who tried to pay off a loan with goats.
June: Actual goats?
Darren: Digital goats.
June: That's somehow worse.
Across the table, Lisa from Collections spoke up.
Lisa: I got yelled at for twenty straight minutes.
June: New record?
Lisa: No, record's still forty-three.
Darren: Was that the submarine guy?
Lisa: The submarine guy.
Everyone nodded.
Every office had legends.
The submarine guy was theirs.
June: Anybody actually take refinancing this week?
Everyone laughed.
Darren: With what money?
Lisa: If they had money, they wouldn't be talking to us.
The room fell briefly silent.
Everyone knew the joke wasn't really a joke.
Finally Darren pointed at June.
Darren: Didn't you come through the program yourself?
June nodded.
June: Call center debt.
Lisa: Student loans?
June: No.
Darren: Medical debt?
June: No.
Lisa: Then what?
June stared into space.
June: I financed a degree in corporate communications with a personal loan.
The entire table groaned.
Darren: Brutal.
The break timer beeped.
Everyone stood up immediately.
The poster smiled at them.
June: Good afternoon, Mr. Wallace—
Wallace: Before we start, let me ask you something.
June: Certainly.
Wallace: Is there any way out of this besides the mining contract?
June checked the file.
The numbers were catastrophic.
She checked again.
Still catastrophic.
June: Do you have one hundred thousand credits available today?
Wallace: No.
June: Friends or family with one hundred thousand credits?
Wallace: No.
June: Hidden inheritance?
Wallace: No.
June: Rich uncle?
Wallace: No.
June: Pirate treasure?
Wallace: No.
June: Then unfortunately the mining contract is probably your best option.
Long pause.
Wallace: I appreciate the honesty.
June: I find people prefer honesty once they're already doomed.
Last call of the day.
June: Good afternoon, Mr. Pierce.
Pierce: Is this about the boat?
June: Yes.
Pierce: I knew it.
June: Mr. Pierce, based on your current financial situation—
Pierce: Hold on.
Paper rustling.
Pierce: Before we continue, are you a Helix company?
June: No. Horizon Fidelity Financial is an independent financial institution.
Pause.
Pierce: Great.
June read the next line.
June: We are, however, a wholly owned subsidiary of Helix Extractive Solutions.
Long silence.
Pierce: That's a trick.
June: Legally, no.
Pierce: Spiritually?
June: Spiritually, yes.
Another silence.
Pierce: So where am I going?
June: Outer colony YK-441.
Pierce: Does it have a normal name?
June: Yonkers.
Pierce: You're making that up.
June: I wish I were.
Pierce: Is it nice?
June looked at the file.
The file included the phrase: "Persistent radiation environment."
It also included: "Suitable for habitation under controlled conditions."
And: "Avoid prolonged exposure to horizon."
June: It's memorable.
Pierce: That's not what I asked.
June: No, it isn't.
At 5:00 PM, June logged out.
The computer displayed the company motto.
Corporate MottoBUILDING BETTER FUTURES TOGETHER
Terms and conditions apply.
June grabbed her coat and headed for the train.
Tomorrow she would call more people.
Some angry.
Some resigned.
Some already packing.
And some who still thought it was a sales call.
The irony was that June herself still owed forty-three thousand credits.
To Horizon Fidelity Financial.
Of course.
The employee discount was terrible.